Oh yes, I did. I called my sweet little Abbi a liar. She is such a sweet and thoughtful young lady. Lying just seems to naturally flow from her tongue, though. She is proof that we are born with a sin nature, that’s for sure. What baffles me most is that she chooses to lie about situations that are not worth the added trouble. Really, why lie to me about brushing your teeth? It’s not as if I can’t smell her morning dragon breath. I don’t know how many times I will have to repeat, “Abbi it hurts you, not me, when you lie about brushing your teeth.” The other day, she came to my bathroom with her bangs held back and asked me to pin them back. Of course I did, without thinking anything about her request. As I was fixing her hair for school yesterday morning, I noticed something a little “off” about her bangs. She had cut them. Ah ha, that’s why she asked me to pin her bangs back a few mornings before. She had cut them and didn’t want me to notice. If she had just asked me to cut her bangs, or even just told me that she had cut her bangs herself, there really would not have been any problems. That’s a pretty normal thing for little girls to attempt. I’m a rational mom and wouldn’t have flipped out on her. Here’s where the problem began. When I asked her about her bangs, she said “Mom, I did not! I haven’t even touched scissors for days, weeks.” Trying not to laugh at her choice of words, I said “Ok, let’s show your dad your bangs.” I knew that would get her. She just can’t lie to her dad. He came in the bathroom and she just looked up at him with a facial expression that gave away her thoughts, “Dang-it, I’ve been caught but I am NOT going to admit my guilt.” However, she is a lame liar. She tries her best but she almost always gets caught. There are so many traits about Abbi that I wish I had. She is fun, generous and spontaneous. However, her lying is something that is just not going to be acceptable. It’s not cute now and it sure won’t be when she is a teenager. Tim and I have attempted every tactic. She has more severe consequences when she lies. She has had to memorize Bible verses on honesty. She gets spankings and lectures. She knows she doesn’t get away with lying. Sometimes, I just want to yell,” Really, would you just stop it?!” I don’t get it. Her thoughts automatically think, “I might have a chance of getting away with this” while I think, “Why take a chance on getting caught.” What I’m realizing is that I’m not going to be able to force her to be honest. It’s going to have to be something that she desires from within her heart. My problem is that I’m not exactly sure how to teach her to want to be honest. My approach with her must change if I’m going to be effective in teaching her to be honest. I don’t think I will ever understand why she chooses to lie about the things she lies about. Her and I are so different that understanding her way of thinking so that I can most effectively teach her is going to be no small task. This sin problem is going to be her struggle and as her mom, I must diligently pray that she seeks truth and desires honesty. And try my very hardest not to become completely exasperated with her.
